I swear to God I did not doctor this Marvel Team-Up panel.
This is actually what they printed.
(Though I like to think they did it on purpose!)
Really? Cadillac thinks ladies will love to play chauffeur in this monstrosity? COME ON. There is absolutely no way that this… BOAT is “feather light” and “smooth and effortless on the move.” NO WAY. Also? How sexist is that ad copy? The reasons are “man talk,” but “the result is eloquent for any lady to understand.” Please. This chick should just ditch this heel and take off for greener pastures. And now that I think about it, where is she picking him up from? Not aware of any airports that would be placed right at the edge of a cliff because how does that make sense? So what — is she getting him from a weekend at the mistress’ place? In that case, ditch the heel and take off for greener pastures… after running him over once or twice first!
Jet-Set Jessie is a “pushover for anything with good taste?”
Please.
What is she wearing?
Clearly, Jet-Set Jessie wouldn’t know good taste if it walked right up to her and smacked her in the face with a two-by-four.
I’m sorry, but this ad really doesn’t make me want to buy and wear this underwear…
It kind of makes me want to go take a shower in bleach.
No kidding she doesn’t know how to love.
She doesn’t even know how to kiss!
(Though, to be fair, he doesn’t seem very good either!)
This is very important training. You never know when an amazon is going to be tied up in a skimpy outfit with her boobs hanging out and need to escape.
Excellent, my pretties!
Oh, but their training isn’t over. No, then there’s this:
This is how they prepare for war. By making out with each other. Seriously look at those two in the bottom right corner! And this was approved by the Comics Code! Kinky!
Does anyone really want to take advice from Barbie?
I mean, that exercise is kind of hilarious, seeing as how Barbie’s legs totally didn’t bend in 1963.
And sure, lean meat and vegetables will help you keep your figure… but apparently so will eating portions so small they wouldn’t choke a bird!
Digging Ken and Barbie’s dashing walking outfits, though. But watch out for that low-hanging branch!
And are we to take it that Barbie gets up at 9am in the morning? Or is she going to bed at 11 in the afternoon and sleeping through the night?
You know what? Honestly? I wouldn’t take advice from a brunette Barbie in the first place. Everyone knows they’re evil.
